Ayesha, the Return of She Read online

  CHAPTER V

  THE GLACIER

  Even that day came to an end at last, and after a few more lumps ofyak, our tent being gone, we drew his hide over us and rested as bestwe could, knowing that at least we had no more avalanches to fear. Thatnight it froze sharply, so that had it not been for the yak's hide andthe other rugs and garments, which fortunately we were wearing when thesnow-slide began, it would, I think, have gone hard with us. As it was,we suffered a great deal.

  "Horace," said Leo at the dawn, "I am going to leave this. If we haveto die, I would rather do so moving; but I don't believe that we shalldie."

  "Very well," I said, "let us start. If the snow won't bear us now, itnever will."

  So we tied up our rugs and the yak's hide in two bundles and, having cutoff some more of the frozen meat, began our descent. Now, although themount was under two hundred feet high, its base, fortunately for us--forotherwise it must have been swept away by the mighty pressure of theavalanche--was broad, so that there was a long expanse of piled-up snowbetween us and the level ground.

  Since, owing to the overhanging conformation of the place, it was quiteimpossible for us to descend in front where pressure had made the snowhard as stone, we were obliged to risk a march over the looser materialupon its flank. As there was nothing to be gained by waiting, offwe went, Leo leading and step by step trying the snow. To our joy wediscovered that the sharp night frost had so hardened its surface thatit would support us. About half way down, however, where the pressurehad been less, it became much softer, so that we were forced to lieupon our faces, which enabled us to distribute our weight over a largersurface, and thus slither gently down the hill.

  All went well until we were within twenty paces of the bottom, wherewe must cross a soft mound formed of the powdery dust thrown off by theavalanche in its rush. Leo slipped over safely, but I, following a yardor two to his right, of a sudden felt the hard crust yield beneathme. An ill-judged but quite natural flounder and wriggle, such as anewly-landed flat-fish gives upon the sand, completed the mischief, andwith one piercing but swiftly stifled yell, I vanished.

  Any one who has ever sunk in deep water will know that the sensationis not pleasant, but I can assure him that to go through the sameexperience in soft snow is infinitely worse; mud alone could surpass itsterrors. Down I went, and down, till at length I seemed to reach a rockwhich alone saved me from disappearing for ever. Now I felt the snowclosing above me and with it came darkness and a sense of suffocation.So soft was the drift, however, that before I was overcome I contrivedwith my arms to thrust away the powdery dust from about my head, thusforming a little hollow into which air filtered slowly. Getting my handsupon the stone, I strove to rise, but could not, the weight upon me wastoo great.

  Then I abandoned hope and prepared to die. The process proved notaltogether unpleasant. I did not see visions from my past life asdrowning men are supposed to do, but--and this shows how strong was herempire over me--my mind flew back to Ayesha. I seemed to behold her anda man at her side, standing over me in some dark, rocky gulf. She waswrapped in a long travelling cloak, and her lovely eyes were wild withfear. I rose to salute her, and make report, but she cried in a fierce,concentrated voice--"What evil thing has happened here? Thou livest;then where is my lord Leo? Speak, man, and say where thou hast hid mylord--or die."

  The vision was extraordinarily real and vivid, I remember, and,considered in connection with a certain subsequent event, in all waysmost remarkable, but it passed as swiftly as it came.

  Then my senses left me.

  I saw a light again. I heard a voice, that of Leo. "Horace," he cried,"Horace, hold fast to the stock of the rifle." Something was thrustagainst my outstretched hand. I gripped it despairingly, and there camea strain. It was useless, I did not move. Then, bethinking me, I drewup my legs and by chance or the mercy of Heaven, I know not, got myfeet against a ridge of the rock on which I was lying. Again I felt thestrain, and thrust with all my might. Of a sudden the snow gave, and outof that hole I shot like a fox from its earth.

  I struck something. It was Leo straining at the gun, and I knocked himbackwards. Then down the steep slope we rolled, landing at length uponthe very edge of the precipice. I sat up, drawing in the air with greatgasps, and oh! how sweet it was. My eyes fell upon my hand, and I sawthat the veins stood out on the back of it, black as ink and large ascords. Clearly I must have been near my end.

  "How long was I in there?" I gasped to Leo, who sat at my side, wipingoff the sweat that ran from his face in streams.

  "Don't know. Nearly twenty minutes, I should think."

  "Twenty minutes! It seemed like twenty centuries. How did you get meout? You could not stand upon the drift dust."

  "No; I lay upon the yak skin where the snow was harder and tunnelledtowards you through the powdery stuff with my hands, for I knew whereyou had sunk and it was not far off. At last I saw your finger tips;they were so blue that for a few seconds I took them for rock, butthrust the butt of the rifle against them. Luckily you still had lifeenough to catch hold of it, and you know the rest. Were we not both verystrong, it could never have been done."

  "Thank you, old fellow," I said simply.

  "Why should you thank me?" he asked with one of his quick smiles. "Doyou suppose that I wished to continue this journey alone? Come, if youhave got your breath, let us be getting on. You have been sleeping in acold bed and want exercise. Look, my rifle is broken and yours islost in the snow. Well, it will save us the trouble of carrying thecartridges," and he laughed drearily.

  Then we began our march, heading for the spot where the road ended fourmiles or so away, for to go forward seemed useless. In due course wereached it safely. Once a mass of snow as large as a church swept downjust in front of us, and once a great boulder loosened from the mountainrushed at us suddenly like an attacking lion, or the stones thrownby Polyphemus at the ship of Odysseus, and, leaping over our heads,vanished with an angry scream into the depths beneath. But we tooklittle heed of these things: our nerves were deadened, and no dangerseemed to affect them.

  There was the end of the road, and there were our own footprints and theimpress of the yak's hoofs in the snow. The sight of them affected me,for it seemed strange that we should have lived to look upon themagain. We stared over the edge of the precipice. Yes, it was sheer andabsolutely unclimbable.

  "Come to the glacier," said Leo.

  So we went on to it, and scrambling a little way down its root, made anexamination. Here, so far as we could judge, the cliff was about fourhundred feet deep. But whether or no the tongue of ice reached to thefoot of it we were unable to tell, since about two thirds of the waydown it arched inwards, like the end of a bent bow, and the conformationof the overhanging rocks on either side was such that we could not seewhere it terminated. We climbed back again and sat down, and despairtook hold of us, bitter, black despair.

  "What are we to do?" I asked. "In front of us death. Behind us death,for how can we recross those mountains without food or guns to shootit with? Here death, for we must sit and starve. We have striven andfailed. Leo, our end is at hand. Only a miracle can save us."

  "A miracle," he answered. "Well, what was it that led us to the top ofthe mount so that we were able to escape the avalanche? And what was itwhich put that rock in your way as you sank into the bed of dust, andgave me wit and strength to dig you out of your grave of snow? And whatis it that has preserved us through seventeen years of dangers such asfew men have known and lived? Some directing Power. Some Destiny thatwill accomplish itself in us. Why should the Power cease to guide? Whyshould the Destiny be baulked at last?"

  He paused, then added fiercely, "I tell you, Horace, that even if we hadguns, food, and yaks, I would not turn back upon our spoor, since to doso would prove me a coward and unworthy of her. I will go on."

  "How?" I asked.

  "By that road," and he pointed to the glacier.

  "It is a road to death!"

  "Well, if so, Horace, it woul
d seem that in this land men find life indeath, or so they believe. If we die now, we shall die travelling ourpath, and in the country where we perish we may be born again. At leastI am determined, so you must choose."

  "I have chosen long ago. Leo, we began this journey together and we willend it together. Perhaps Ayesha knows and will help us," and I laugheddrearily. "If not--come, we are wasting time."

  Then we took counsel, and the end of it was that we cut a skin rug andthe yak's tough hide into strips and knotted these together into twoserviceable ropes, which we fastened about our middles, leaving one endloose, for we thought that they might help us in our descent.

  Next we bound fragments of another skin rug about our legs and kneesto protect them from the chafing of the ice and rocks, and for the samereason put on our thick leather gloves. This done, we took the remainderof our gear and heavy robes and, having placed stones in them, threwthem over the brink of the precipice, trusting to find them again,should we ever reach its foot. Now our preparations were complete,and it was time for us to start upon perhaps one of the most desperatejourneys ever undertaken by men of their own will.

  Yet we stayed a little, looking at each other in piteous fashion, forwe could not speak. Only we embraced, and I confess, I think I wepta little. It all seemed so sad and hopeless, these longings enduredthrough many years, these perpetual, weary travellings, and now--theend. I could not bear to think of that splendid man, my ward, my mostdear friend, the companion of my life, who stood before me so full ofbeauty and of vigour, but who must within a few short minutes be turnedinto a heap of quivering, mangled flesh. For myself it did not matter.I was old, it was time that I should die. I had lived innocently, if itwere innocent to follow this lovely image, this Siren of the caves, wholured us on to doom.

  No, I don't think that I thought of myself then, but I thought a greatdeal of Leo, and when I saw his determined face and flashing eyes as henerved himself to the last endeavour, I was proud of him. So in brokenaccents I blessed him and wished him well through all the aeons, prayingthat I might be his companion to the end of time. In few words and shorthe thanked me and gave me back my blessing. Then he muttered--"Come."

  So side by side we began the terrible descent. At first it was easyenough, although a slip would have hurled us to eternity. But we werestrong and skilful, accustomed to such places moreover, and made none.About a quarter of the way down we paused, standing upon a great boulderthat was embedded in the ice, and, turning round cautiously, leaned ourbacks against the glacier and looked about us. Truly it was a horribleplace, almost sheer, nor did we learn much, for beneath us, a hundredand twenty feet or more, the projecting bend cut off our view of whatlay below.

  So, feeling that our nerves would not bear a prolonged contemplation ofthat dizzy gulf, once more we set our faces to the ice and proceeded onthe downward climb. Now matters were more difficult, for the stones werefewer and once or twice we must slide to reach them, not knowing if weshould ever stop again. But the ropes which we threw over the anglesof the rocks, or salient points of ice, letting ourselves down by theirhelp and drawing them after us when we reached the next foothold, savedus from disaster.

  Thus at length we came to the bend, which was more than half way downthe precipice, being, so far as I could judge, about two hundred andfifty feet from its lip, and say one hundred and fifty from the darksomebottom of the narrow gulf. Here were no stones, but only some rough ice,on which we sat to rest.

  "We must look," said Leo presently.

  But the question was, how to do this. Indeed, there was only one way,to hang over the bend and discover what lay below. We read each other'sthought without the need of words, and I made a motion as though I wouldstart.

  "No," said Leo, "I am younger and stronger than you. Come, help me," andhe began to fasten the end of his rope to a strong, projecting point ofice. "Now," he said, "hold my ankles."

  It seemed an insanity, but there was nothing else to be done, so, fixingmy heels in a niche, I grasped them and slowly he slid forward till hisbody vanished to the middle. What he saw does not matter, for I saw itall afterwards, but what happened was that suddenly all his great weightcame upon my arms with such a jerk that his ankles were torn from mygrip.

  Or, who knows! perhaps in my terror I loosed them, obeying the naturalimpulse which prompts a man to save his own life. If so, may I beforgiven, but had I held on, I must have been jerked into the abyss.Then the rope ran out and remained taut.

  "Leo!" I screamed, "Leo!" and I heard a muffled voice saying, as Ithought, "Come." What it really said was--"Don't come." But indeed--andmay it go to my credit--I did not pause to think, but face outwards,just as I was sitting, began to slide and scramble down the ice.

  In two seconds I had reached the curve, in three I was over it. Beneathwas what I can only describe as a great icicle broken off short, andseparated from the cliff by about four yards of space. This icicle wasnot more than fifteen feet in length and sloped outwards, so that mydescent was not sheer. Moreover, at the end of it the trickling ofwater, or some such accident, had worn away the ice, leaving a littleledge as broad, perhaps, as a man's hand. There were roughnesses on thesurface below the curve, upon which my clothing caught, also I grippedthem desperately with my fingers. Thus it came about that I slid downquite gently and, my heels landing upon the little ledge, remainedalmost upright, with outstretched arms--like a person crucified to across of ice.

  Then I saw everything, and the sight curdled the blood within my veins.Hanging to the rope, four or five feet below the broken point, was Leo,out of reach of it, and out of reach of the cliff; as he hung turningslowly round and round, much as--for in a dreadful, inconsequent fashionthe absurd similarity struck me even then--a joint turns before thefire. Below yawned the black gulf, and at the bottom of it, far, farbeneath, appeared a faint, white sheet of snow. That is what I saw.

  Think of it! Think of it! I crucified upon the ice, my heels restingupon a little ledge; my fingers grasping excrescences on which a birdcould scarcely have found a foothold; round and below me dizzy space.To climb back whence I came was impossible, to stir even was impossible,since one slip and I must be gone.

  And below me, hung like a spider to its cord, Leo turning slowly roundand round!

  I could see that rope of green hide stretch beneath his weight and thedouble knots in it slip and tighten, and I remember wondering whichwould give first, the hide or the knots, or whether it would hold tillhe dropped from the noose limb by limb.

  Oh! I have been in many a perilous place, I who sprang from the SwayingStone to the point of the Trembling Spur, and missed my aim, but never,never in such a one as this. Agony took hold of me; a cold sweat burstfrom every pore. I could feel it running down my face like tears; myhair bristled upon my head. And below, in utter silence, Leo turnedround and round, and each time he turned his up-cast eyes met mine witha look that was horrible to see.

  The silence was the worst of it, the silence and the helplessness. Ifhe had cried out, if he had struggled, it would have been better. Butto know that he was alive there, with every nerve and perception at itsutmost stretch. Oh! my God! Oh! my God!

  My limbs began to ache, and yet I dared not stir a muscle. Theyached horribly, or so I thought, and beneath this torture, mental andphysical, my mind gave.

  I remembered things: remembered how, as a child, I had climbed a treeand reached a place whence I could move neither up nor down, and what Isuffered then. Remembered how once in Egypt a foolhardy friend of minehad ascended the Second Pyramid alone, and become thus crucified uponits shining cap, where he remained for a whole half hour with fourhundred feet of space beneath him. I could see him now stretching hisstockinged foot downwards in a vain attempt to reach the next crack, anddrawing it back again; could see his tortured face, a white blot uponthe red granite.

  Then that face vanished and blackness gathered round me, and inthe blackness visions: of the living, resistless avalanche, of thesnow-grave into which I had sunk--oh! years a
nd years ago; of Ayeshademanding Leo's life at my hands. Blackness and silence, through which Icould only hear the cracking of my muscles.

  Suddenly in the blackness a flash, and in the silence a sound. The flashwas the flash of a knife which Leo had drawn. He was hacking at the cordwith it fiercely, fiercely, to make an end. And the sound was that ofthe noise he made, a ghastly noise, half shout of defiance and half yellof terror, as at the third stroke it parted.

  I saw it part. The tough hide was half cut through, and its severedportion curled upwards and downwards like the upper and lower lips of anangry dog, whilst that which was unsevered stretched out slowly, slowly,till it grew quite thin. Then it snapped, so that the rope flew upwardsand struck me across the face like the lash of a whip.

  Another instant and I heard a crackling, thudding sound. Leo had struckthe ground below. Leo was dead, a mangled mass of flesh and bone as Ihad pictured him. I could not bear it. My nerve and human dignity cameback. I would not wait until, my strength exhausted, I slid from myperch as a wounded bird falls from a tree. No, I would follow him atonce, of my own act.

  I let my arms fall against my sides, and rejoiced in the relief frompain that the movement gave me. Then balanced upon my heels, I stoodupright, took my last look at the sky, muttered my last prayer. For aninstant I remained thus poised.

  Shouting, "I come," I raised my hands above my head and dived as abather dives, dived into the black gulf beneath.